The support pays her house note shes late paying all the time crushing my credit. There are both good scenarios and bad. Which is fine but, they dont require the woman or custodial parent to work nor if she does work dont make her show her pay stubs. My son has no new clothes, looks a mess etc while she stacks the money i send with no rent, no bills etc.. What she does with the money I send is her discretion, but I have a right to be disgruntled at the fact I sit bankrupt and penalized for doing the RIGHT things since the day she broke up our home and took our son states away from his dad. I continue to email my legislators asking them to make child support a shared responsibility instead of requiring the non-custodial parent to provide a government mandated lifestyle for the children (and by inference, the custodial parent) but the legislators are terrified of being seen as soft on deadbeat parents. . If she is collecting support on you and your sister while your father has custody, that is fraudulent. An then when she goes to court for it tbey charge her $500 an if she dont pay that they send her to jail. Theres a lot that needs to change if we really want to do what the research shows is best for children. Why would the mother stick around? On Tuesday, Republican lawmaker Mike Moon suggested he supported the rights of 12-year-olds to tie the knot during a debate about a bill he introduced that would ban gender-affirming care for the state's . Aso for child support it is nothing more than stealth alimony that is why the awards are so high. Can anyone help, or are we just victims of a system that cares only about generating revenue by victimizing innocent people. Its all about mens rights right now (notice, not childs rights) and somehow Ive still managed to create an incredible relationship with my son. Come join Texans For Parental Equality on our facebook page. And the article. Ladies, sometimes it is with walking away and getting away. Hes only paid child support 7 times. If Rose was a man your response would be completely different. she makes almost as much as meand i BEGGED to have 50/50 custodydeaf ears. Then she still didnt let him. I am a disabled parent of 4, let alone a single parent. I have never received actual child support, we each take care of what we have to, and I have zero issues financially supporting my child by working, WHILE taking care of my child in every other way. (I live in Florida if that helps) they may have an unofficial agreement that hasnt been brought to court (Im not exactly sure about that) im Afraid that if my dad stops paying the support than my mom will try to bring it to court and do something crazy. Taxmanyou work at IRS? 176K views 12 years ago FOX 25 Boston News - http://www.myfoxboston.com - Just hearing the words child support sparks an emotional response. We actively reach out to the adult kids but are met with denial. While it is important for them to receive adequate financial support, it is arguably even more essential to have quality time with both Mom and Dad. She had her out of town with her new boyfriend before the divorce was final. Its easy to see why this is such a difficult cycle to break. Yea. KS I feel you. spelling?). But the current laws assuming just because you made 25.00 and do not have that income anymore and make less should not be held against you. And make sure you request a jury at the hearing its your constitutional right. Lots of good dads like myself are being chastised, judged and criticized as if we are deadbeat fathers. Thats why its not going to change because nobody does anything about it because it afends people who think your ex deserves half of your check because the government uses you as a scape goat so they dont have to pay for anything so they make you pay a ridiculous amount so that ex is satisfied and wont ask for anymore hand outs. Hmm so where do i go from here i found out she purchased a house back in 2006 for$277,000 when she did her financial report she said she was only getting 1000 a month, HMMMM now i start looking into more info, the case worker does not care, all they care about is getting my money, where do i go from here?? Ross please keep everyone updated on the ages of your children when they severed ties with you and moved full time into their fathers life. Being in the state of NY I have been through hell and back and back to hell when it comes to family court. When unpaid child support payments accumulate, this often snowballs into another issue: parental alienation. THE SYSTEM IS OUT DATED!!! Individuals like myself work hard to be a part of our childs life, make our payments and stay on amicable terms with the other parents only to be drug over the coals simply because they state wants to recover their losses. How can i spend more time with my child when I am struggling to pay rent, have my own health problems that require medicine and try to afford all of that plus TRYING to spend as much quality time as possible with my child. I tell the court that she will not let me see my children, she gives the court the excuse of he didnt call on my sons birthday, so Im not going to make my 3 kids call their father. In my relpy, I was at work. We move on.. You can as well, you have more choice in the matter and have noone to blame but yourself. Men say women are bitter, and men are just as bitter for having to pay. My ex-husband paid $410/month for his daughter and I often wrote that check with absolutely no problem, even when his ex was re-married to someone who made good money. There needs to be something much more child specific. Too many single mothers, feminist organizations, law firms, and state funding to be made. 4. Get this adjusted modified you should only be paying like 1k for 2 kids per month. I think the takeaway from all of these comments is there is no standard situation. THOSE payments run from millions to tens of millions per year. The whole system is punitive, if I lose my job and cant afford an attorney to get my payments reduced they threaten to take away drivers license or put you in jail. You can't reduce your child support payments unless you get in front of a judge. I was happy to help her with what ever she needed but shes gone through legal actions that now I dont know what or where to turn as I cant wait 3 years to see my daughter. as well. Long story short if Your gona be a great Dad, Your gona have to pay alot of alot of $$$ .God bless and Thank You Jesus for taking care of my needs and keeping me healthy enough to work. I know I am ranting, but the system is so bias it is ridiculous. I want to be in my daughters life. I pawned my truck, all that i had to my name, and he sent cps out the next day to figure out why i was not in jaik where he wanted me. The whole system is Antiquated in a joke. Child support is effectively a blackmail or extortion system whereby the state takes you children unconstitutionally, and then uses that excuse to charge you extortion fees weekly for the privilege of NOT having your children! I am not a perfect parent, but I could never treat my kids this way. Her Honor (sarcasm intended ) has stated that your wife [NOT my children] deserves that money and that she is not going to allow me to become a deadbeat dad. Bravo! Read Dr. Stephen Baskervilles book, TAKEN INTO CUSTODY to learn the extent of the corruption. A child does not survive on $200 a month. Stop using your kids to get brownie points and do the job. Ive also heard many arguments from women who would agree with you. My boyfriend of 5 years has a child that was a result of a one night stand. Introducing the Unfairness of Child Support for Fathers: A Closer Look Child support is an issue that has been under the microscope for decades. You dont need a driver license to get to work if you dont have a job and are not looking for one). NO detailed study has determined why the courts are making these such biased determinations, but its clearly cant have much to do with fathers vs mother characteristics, nor an objective assessment of whats best for the children, because there is virtually no strong evidence supporting female parenting over shared parenting. That will eat up $750 a month, by itself. Here's what happened: My child support went from $1,113.00 per month plus health insurance of $225.00 to $243.00 a month in child support and she paid the health insurance. It wont work. So if your work schedule interferes, its okay to leave the kid at Moms until it works better for you, right? etc. I highly disagree with 50/50 custody. My ex should be responsible 100% to support their own household. The system needs Common Sense Reform. I agree. Daycare is not a need. As long as he is involved in there lives thats all that matters. Yes folks, this man will not even come out of pocket for his own childrens birthdays or holidays. It is a two-way street, 100%. I feel for the mothers out there that get only 100.00 a month. Most of this money goes to fill the welfare coffers of the state who like to pander to single mothers and the children. Involvement and support are dealt with completely separately. My ex does not do this, and in the process I find out many things he is interested in. Joe , guess you end up paying anyway ! Dont lump every man into your situation . Mindi, thank you for standing up for fathers. Plus, check out their power-packed Legal Tips page for all parents fighting family court, too Wow!! Have a physical confrontation with wife and/or children. For the first few years, things were good. The problem is that the court treats kids like data on spreadsheet, not real human beings. She had her permit suspended for oweing a few months when we were paying it all on time until my injury. My ex lived off child support alone for a few months, after she was fired. A lot of walking. 4. Im in the army married 15 years with 2 teenagers. Now 6 months before their youngest turns 18 she sues is for 78,000.00 $20,000.00 is interest. So many stories of past due child support have to do with parents ignoring our letters, phone calls, subpoenas to court. Taking care of the child, scheduling and taking off work to take them to doctors/dentists appointments, paying for the bills associated with these appointments, paying for school supplies, providing clothes and winter coats/shoes/haircuts, paying for extracurricular activities and taking them to practices and games, doing homework with the child, playing with them, engaging them and not dumping them at grandmas every second they get, etc etc, then yes, they are most likely the primary parent and children should reside with them solely. The problem is too many people are employed in this scam. My husbands ex worked maybe a total of 2 years in all the years he had to pay child support. I left because of the alcohol abuse, his nonchalant, laissez-faire approach to work, life, family and our relationship. They dont go on hold because you lost your job. And NEVER MARRY BOYS! I am so very happy today that he came back to me and i achieved this with the help of ( Robinson.buckler @ yahoo. This means that a judge can still order child support even if both parents state they do not need it. I sure you will find some, look at what you paid, then the balance deduct what you paid, this is what is going on,examples: if your statement say you paid $20,000 by 2015, with a 30,000 balance,if your balance is still $30,000 at the beginning of 2016 there not deducting nothing, can you imagine how many people are suffering? His wife harrassed me nonstop all hours of the night, because she was a bartender who needed to emotionally abuse someone and I was her favorite victim. The only thing that matters is the kid is happy and healthy. It used to be closer to 95% of the time, so some progress has been made. Just type in US Department of Justice 9 page memo March 14 2016 in the search. Way to go legal system. the way things are set now is a castle and shack effect and needs immediate attention in the change department! The National Parents Organization states, "Long ago and far away there was a land in which non-custodial fathers paid child support directly to the custodial motherIn the 1970s, child support collection, disbursement and accounting became a function of government instead." #childsupport #indigentfathers #americancorruptfamilylaw Believe me, they are NOT the primary caregivers of the kids when they do have them. In the end, I got decision making through mediation (I couldnt afford court). Shared custody is not just whats best for the children; its what complies with a fundamental human right: the right to paretn your own children. It sounds like the father could jump through hoops backwards to be there for the children and that still wouldnt be good enough for you. No, the system is not outdated youre thinking of alimony. The mother had full custody. I fought anyway, and now have a GAL that has equated me with a child abuser in his language and promises to punish me if I dont accept what she is willing to give me. Ever wonder why the state doesnt care how the child support money is used, only whether it is paid? Parents may pay support through the OAG by different methods, including online and through a wage withholding. Keep fathers from fathers ans additional siblings is EVEN more wrong than not paying. How is it fair that I foolishly got with a woman who lied about her past was intimate with me and then breaks up for me after she gets pregnant and then remarries and ironically has another child. The best interests of the children. I totally agree! Some parents dont want to be and others arent fit to be parents even though they want to be. Lets do something people !!! Its going over the top to accommodate non- custodial parents for no other reason than they are biologically linked to a child. Whilst many views float around arguing for and against child support, most decent fathers and parents would argue the issue is not whether or not they wish to support their children, but rather the often unfair conditions imposed upon them. I said he was a great dad and does everything he needed to. 51% deadbeat MOM, by current Wa. However if you go walking in there with attitude and saying you need more visitation to reduce CS, youre digging yourself a grave. She also has full medical from me. The strange thing is that in all the years I have been reading the enormous (and ever-growing) volume of statutes, rules and cases on child support/maintenance, never have I found anything that says that fathers should be treated less fairly than mothers. So he was not making enough money to help in the household therefore came our decesion in opening a business, however this came to a bigger problem the ex found out so she is sending us to court to have her child support increased . Im a mother and I often get flack for my ideology behind child support. If one parent doesnt want to work the other parent should get the kid. So sad how the law works.. AMEN, this is the mos awsome thing I have heard/readI absolutely applaud, and what I was expectingnot what happened, not close by farwas awful. Black slaver, Jim Crowe and apartheid were laws as well. I know many women will not agree with what I have to say, but its what I think. Now, he is almost 58 and he looks OLD. When he figured how to game the system to avoid paying he went along and had more daughters (3 more kids with 2 different woman). Its math. Even if the man possesses ALL the means of support for the children, more often than not the children are awarded to the mothers. Now there are some women who see and have commented on gender bias against men and boys. Lord knows he isnt supplying anything. The fact that most states score so poorly on the NPO Shared Parenting Grade Card (a project I was the lead researcher on) belies the claim that our states custody and child support laws are all about protecting children. Meanwhile, Mr. I pay all this money for a kid I cant see guess what, youre not buying access. I have 1.5 masters degrees in nursing now. thats because they lower it so much . Get a lawyer, build a case, and fight for custody my brotha. If the man is deemed the father, he should obtain a lawyer for child support and take the mother to court. The State calculator yielded a "Fair child support figure of $450.00 that Bob was to pay. He got her for child support and took full custody of the children said she was going to leave the state which is not true. This is so frustrating because I pay my child support, she gets insurance credit, we buy most of there clothes etc etc and now I have to spend more money I dont have trying to get them to do the right thing. Therefore it should be no problem for you to do the right thing and give up your parental rights while sending a large portion of your income to your sons father to do as he wishes with. If the custodial parent cant be bothered to document and substantiate actual costs then they should get either nothing or 50% of a basic formula for what the average costs of a childs educational and healthcare are for whatever age. Current Child Support Laws Are a Barrier to True Shared ParentingExcellent article. Some how the lord works in mysterious ways, I have still been able to be there for kids, two jobs and steady plasma donation. This problem might be solved with an Attorney. The second, a young man who claimed his ex was supposed to be sending papers for him to sign over his rights so her husband could adopt and she has not followed through in a timely manor, $300 perge 30 days. regardless of which parent is custodial both have to pay for clothing, beds, groceries, healthcare, other insurances, school incidentals. Im a high school graduate and make $70k year. He has not contributed financially to her expenses in the last 3 years either. It boggles my mind that almost 90% of custodial parents are women. This is not to say that women are better parents. In many states the men cannot. Then be involved in their care-taking/homework/life and work you ass off to make a good relationship with your ex wife who is probably fed up with your entitled opinions about owning the kids when she does all the work of raising them. She has moved several places, my husband would try and follow to care for her and his kids. We will not be hurting anymore. For example if my rent is $300 dollars and my child support is $500 just between rent and child support by itself that is 9600. In my experience almost all divorced women claim to be abused. There will become a time that they grow older and have friends that want to hang out with do things with go places with but they want be able to because they will have to go to the other parents house . While it depends on the judge and the circumstances, a child support payment is usually not reduced if a father quits a full-time job and returns to school. 3. Out dated systemI have 2 boys and share time with them 50/50. But what most dont know is thisstate CSEAs are provided a financial incentive and reimbursement from the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT for the money they process (anyone else pay a processing fee?). They are taught that any form of punishment is child abuse of some form, and that they can forever blame their short-comings in life upon their childhood, shrowded with falsehoods and depictions of even the most blatent displays of affectionate parenting as some form of neglect or abuse, tainting their entire upbringing, that could have been fairly peaceful and normal had the number one focus been on raising the children to the best of our ability as co-parents. Your email address will not be published. Ive been through so many obstacles in my life, but Im still here and with my head up high. However if the fathers income gets reduced , there is nothing in place to take that into consideration . I did not work for 15 years. Peonage, however, by definition is forcing an individual to work against his will, however done--by pure brute force slavery, work contracts where one cannot quit, or being compelled by force of law underthreat of arrest. We have been fighting for years to see my husbands kids but we finally gave up because of the nightmare she made it. Thats what I signed up for when I had a kid. She makes 160k a year. Often times child support is breaking the bond with fathers and their children because payments are so expensive that we fathers may not even have enough gas to visit. That was seven years ago. It is mind boggling to me that these people think it costs so little to care for children. If women want a fair fight in this then realize that just because your situation involves a deadbeat dad it by no means that all men are deadbeat fathers. Michelle Ferreri licensed in PA and NJ only - Philadelphia, PA. Dorothy Walsh Ripka licensed in OH, IL, MO, KY and TX only. The more child support the states collect, the more profit the state makes from the federal government for collecting child support. You sound completely impossible to co-parent with. The law presumes that people are incapable of determining right from wrong. Mary Ramos I feel your pain. Every situation is different. When accusations of substance abuse are levelled against a party during the course of litigation, drug and alcohol tests are MANDATORY in order to prove or disprove said accusations. The government helped to create child support when they initiated the welfare system (TANF). Be there for the kids or dont be there at all. I have to beg churches for food assistance I can only receive once a week. But today they are But then again. Its awful for the kids especially in contentious situations. We gave him and my daughter their own land and mobil home. His current child support was reduced from $649 a month for Jessica to $325 a month and the payments on the back child support were reduced from $400 a month to $150 a month. The child support system was originally a bipartisan policy reform designed to serve divorced parents who were steadily employed. Find a new man that owns a business. I thank heavens did not have to deal with the child support drama. Hopefully in time it does :(. Step Parents are still parents too and if they are providing for the child, they should be accounted for. Why is everything focused on the father paying Im a single dad of 3 she left me with the kids and when I took child support out on her the paperwork basically only asks about the father its a sexist system today it seems more men are being the ones raising the kids and still getting shafted by the system its been 4 years since she left she doesnt call or even text the kids she wont pay a dime and Im pretty sure she never will and the system wont do anything about it because she is female things need to change about this system its definitely not the same as it used to be. Twitter boss has a history of making controversial comments about trans people. His family avoids me as well because I honestly think they are embarrassed. 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