What is it? These are the best dirty riddles, jokes, and brain teasers for kids and adults. Sometimes people lick my nuts. 12. 30. Making love can help to release the tension that causes headaches on the brain. Some people like to keep me trimmed, others keep me long. 5. Answer: A banana! What three-letter word starts with an s, ends with x, and has a vowel in the middle? 39 Fairly Hard Riddles. Three lives have I. 60. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What am I? Ill admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. I let them go in and out as much as they want. What am I? 33. Such kind of jokes could bring a smile on anyone's face or could crack them up in a knotty situation. It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck.It starts with the letter P and ends in O.R.N. The second one is rigged with explosives that will go off as soon as he enters. What am I? Catch a glimpse of these dirty jokes and gear up yourself for a comfortable laugh. But I can promise you that they are funny. What am I? Answer: Its 68, but at 69 you have to turn around. Wow, you made it! The staff at Riddles and Answers has done it again with this extensive set of dirty riddles for your adult enjoyment. I sit here collecting dust, I can wait forever to open me and you will not be disappointed, I can make you laugh, cry, and sad, I contain all the knowledge of the world, let me take you to a faraway land. Why is a happy sex life like a good steak? What am I? Kids look forward to Santa for Christmas because he delivers and gives gifts to many. Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. A: Concrete floors are very hard to crack. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked? I am usually warm. Cut me regularly or, if you want to be selfish, get someone to do it for you before it gets prickly. What am I? Answer: Same middle name. These best dirty riddles will confuse your friends and make them feel guilty and ashamed for believing the punchline was sexual. 20+ Innocently Naughty Riddles Youll Be Laughing At Because You Know You Have A Dirty Mind, Watch 27 Seductive Erotic Movies To Fulfill Your All Sexual Fantasies, 20 Strictly-For-Adults Destinations Around The World You Need To Visit Before You Die. What am I? 8. 6. 8. 2. Can you come up with a cool, funny or clever Dirty Riddles of your own? Answer: February, it's the shortest month. The first room is ablaze with fire. 4. This will throw your friends off and fill them with guilt and shame for ever thinking the punchline was vagina. What am I? Whos the most popular guy at the nudist colony? Show Hint Show Answer what am i riddle dirty adult humor Dislike Like If I Miss, I Hit Your Bush Riddle: If I miss, I hit your bush. 73 Dirty Riddles with Answers 1. 47. You put your hands on me and then go up and down. Dirty minded jokes are never meant to be decent; instead, they are always inappropriate yet funny. I am white when I am dirty, and black when I am clean. How is this possible? A collection of dirty funny riddles to tickle your naughty mind. What am I? 15. Whats white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow? What am I? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind. What am I? What am I? Whats at least six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates? Whos the most popular guy at the nudist colony? These are some dirty adult riddles that will surely get your partner's rib tickling! Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); You have entered an incorrect email address! What am I? What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow? What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? People use their hands to go up and down me, Im very long and very hard. Check out these dirty minded knock knock jokes that will keep everyone guessing. Riddle: During what month do people sleep the least? What am I? 39. In the end, I make you happy and confident. . I can flow like a river, and come from dust, I age hard as iron, but never rust. What am I? What holds your buns firmly and makes them look round and pretty? My girlfriend lives forty miles away.What do you get when you jingle Santas balls?A white Christmas!Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? Women generally demand my full attention. Whats inside me tastes great in your mouth. What is the proverb? Or, Who have I become? 30. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Nobody is around to see this. 9. 2. What does this? 66. 10. What am I? 13. These dirty mind riddles with answers will make you and those you share them with blush all night long! What is super hard and goes into a tiny hole? Funny Riddles for Adults. Everyone has me. The answers to these allegedly inappropriate riddles for adults arent precisely what they appear to be if youre dirty minded. What am I? If its chilly outside, it drips. Have a look at the dirty jokes below and dont forget to share them in your circle. What is the difference between whats inside a mans pants and whats inside a womans pants? Both men and women go down on me. Im afraid youre going to have to stop masturbating. I dont understand, doc, the patient says. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. I get wet before you do. 45. You can ride on me, or I can glide on you. What is something that is sometimes long and sometimes short, women love having them and commands a womans full attention? Some of these dirty riddles with answers look to be dirty, but they are simply riddles that sound filthy to a dirty mind, while others leave no mistake and can only be answered with a wink and a smile. Dirty Riddles For Adults We forced you to think this one to be dirty, didn't we? After having me most people feel a huge feeling of relief. Answer: A Mushroom. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. Answer: Time to fix the fence. Try and crack these tricky dirty riddles. So lets find out how many can you guess right. 35+ Best Number Riddles that are Fun to Play. We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. In addition to the obvious, how is a virgin forest like a virgin woman? 2. The third contains a pair of lions who haven't eaten in years. Riddle: What did smelly feet say before going for a stroll? So, before you dive in, grab some snacks and drink to enjoy these dirty minded jokes and abandon all your worries for the moment. 5. What do you wrap your mouth around every morning and night that leaves you feeling refreshed? There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. 5. I come from nuts, can be very sticky and I taste amazing in your mouth. Funny Dirty Riddles from the original Riddles website. You put your hands on me the first thing in the morning. Its my job to stuff your box. 70. The female species of ferret will die within a year if she doesn't have sex. Whats in a mans pants that you just wont find in a girls pants? What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesnt want on her face? Your email address will not be published. 2. 40. What am I? What was Santas job back when he was a naughty young guy and before he became a gift-giving and wish-granting legendary figure? 4. View more comments. The doctor walks in and says, I have some bad news. Q: Pronounced as 1 letter, And written with 3, 2 . I discharge loads from my shaft. Knock Knock,Whos there?Alpha.Alpha Who?Alpha Cure Mom.Knock, knock.Whos there?Jamaican.Jamaican who?Jamaican me horny.Knock, knock.Whos there?Ice cream.Ice cream who?Ice cream all night if youre lucky.Knock, knock.Whos there?May I come in?May I come in who?Not till we have a serious discussion about birth control.Knock, knock.Whos there?Dozer.Dozer who?Dozer the biggest breasts Ive ever seen.Knock, knock.Whos there?Ben. I plead and plead for it regularly. I drip when you take me in the mouth. You can find me in a womans pants when theyre too tight. My load is sometimes soft, sometimes hard, is usually warm, and I am sometimes long and sometimes short. What am I? You dont know what it feels like to take a dump. Something really big and hard ripped me open. 10. I go in hard, come out soft, and you love to blow me. Whats made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes? You wear me for protection every time you feel not so comfortable with what you are dipping yourself into. 13. Looking for a spark of intimacy and desire? 2. Who am I? Show Answer. 11. Sharp I am mean, dull I am cruel. What country in Asia has the largest semen producing men and therefore has the greatest chances of having lots of children? Whats the white, sticky stuff most girls like, but instead of swallows, spits out? The bigger I am, the louder you scream. 3. What am I? Are you in need of some dirty minded jokes? What is that which belongs to you But others use it more than you do? Its a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. Seven. So put the mental broom and dustpan away and keep going. The best man always has me first. What am I? 31. Women really love to get their hands on me. You have to blow it to play with it. And Madonna doesnt have one. Every time you blow me, I get bigger and tighter when you wrap your lips around my head. Im a word that begins with the letter P and for me to grow, I need stimulation. These puzzles are difficult, amusing, and a little dirty all at the same time. My business is briefs. I can be clean but am more often than not very dirty. Why is a mans voice louder than a womans? I personally am on the fence.What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?Thanks for coming!How does a woman scare a gynecologist?By becoming a ventriloquist. I can be quiet but also blare in your ears. . The very harmless statements will force your naughty side to dominate and exchange giggles. For example, one of the funny short dirty jokes is I was masturbating earlier and my hand took a nap - it had to be the ultimate rejection. Dewey who?Dewey have a condom handy?Knock, knock.Whos there?Baghdad.Baghdad who?Id love to see you Baghdad butt up.Knock, knock.Whos there?Ivan. We understand that one of the perks of adulting is being able to be a little dirty while exercising your sexy brain. You have to blow it to play with it. There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. Ask your crush these questions, and youll have a lot of fun with him, as well as some uncontrollable passion! Answer: A toothbrush. A recently purchased implement for brushing away floor dirt invariably effaces the dirt most efficiently. What am I?TentWhats long and hard when its young and soft and small when its old?A candle.What is the difference between a womans G-spot and a quarter?Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. Im known as a big swinger. 50+ Hilarious, Sexy & Dirty Riddles with Clean Answers To Share 2023 What three-letter word starts with an s, ends with x, and has a vowel in the middle? Each took one, yet there were still 49 left. What am I? You use your fingers to get me on and pull me off. Were talking dirty knock knock jokes, dirty jokes, and sex jokes that would have gotten us at least a weeks worth of detention. What am I? Im great for protection. 14. Your email address will not be published. These sexy perfumes for women can trigger a mans primal urges and pour fuel on the fires of passion! What am I? Its pretty obvious, no? Whats the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.What goes in hard and comes out close and wet?Chewing gum.A guy is sitting at the doctors office. I have to be slippery for you to go down me. Over 1,000 people went down on me. The Pope and most Catholic bishops rarely use theirs. #3. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. Unless you spread it, you might not enjoy it. I get wet before you do. Below you will find 1) a general collection of funny riddles followed by special sections of 2) funny riddles for kids and 3) funny riddles for adults. He answers, "they are all blondes, but two, all brunettes, but two, and all redheads, but two.". What is super hard and goes into a tiny hole? The bigger I am, the louder you scream. Check how dirty your thoughts are?Enjoy and Subscribe! 13. 11. What do newly married couples get on their wedding day thats long and sometimes hard? Each daughter has one brother, that means they must share that same brother.) 8. Im long, usually smooth and have the word cum in me. Mt. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Well, since youve made it this far, then your dirty mind should be able to the uptight and straight-laced. What is it? 13. Whats long, hard and tastes great in your mouth? What kind of wood was it? Whats the difference between amazing sex and this joke? 27 Clever Words Riddles that'll Blow Your Mind. I control what once was, what is, and what is to come. 8. 2. Whats a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? What am I? 6. Why was the baseball player's food always dirty? Answer: A key. What am I? 8. In love? A: A dirty blonde Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? 10. What am I? People love being inside me, and my shaft goes up and down every day. 35+ Best Bible Riddles with Answers . In the end, I make you happy and confident. What am I? . I have to be slippery for you to go down me. Arnold Schwarzeneggers is big. 12. What 3 letter word starts with S and ends with X and has a vowel in the middle? Funny Riddles Here are some easy riddles, ones that are funny and that you most likely have heard before. 11. Dirty Riddles I Riddle: I am mostly six inches long. The best man always has me first. You cant taste it unless you undress it. If you are looking for riddles and puzzles that are ideal for adults, check our collection. Answer: The farmer takes a bath every day. They came to a peach tree with 50 peaches. Get our Weekly Riddles Round Up sent direct to your email inbox every week. Q: A doctor gave you 3 pills that you have to take every half hour. 5. (Sexy voice)Who would you like it to be?Knock, knock.Whos there?Al! I can make you clean or filthy. Women cant get enough of me, and I rhyme with sock. Answer: This socks. What am I? Considering the current situation around the globe, lighting up anyones face with a smile through clean jokes or inappropriate jokes can be a great blessing. 50. 37. View Answer Discuss Dirty Riddles Clean Answers #5 - Dirty Adult Riddle Difficulty Popularity I'm spread before I'm eaten. The sailor pointed to the pirate's eye patch and asked, "How did you get that?". I move very easily, I am gooey, If you touch me I'll leave a substance behind. 54. I'm clean when I'm black, Dirty when white; Get too close, And you might sneeze. Adult dirty riddle jokes are some of the most beautifully produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes. Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.Whats the difference between hungry and horny?Where you stick the cucumber.A familys driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. I am dirty, people like to put their wood in me, but only Santa goes down on me. Whats better than a good laugh? What is it? And something tells me your filthy minds will not get many of these right. 6. I am sometimes short and sometimes long. I often hit your bush, but only when my aim is bad. Catch a glimpse of these filthiest dirty minded jokes with answers and make sure to share these dirty riddles for a naughty mind with your friends at the upcoming slumber party and enjoy the night. What am I? 3. No one is telling you that you should stop making juvenile jokes; we think theyre hilarious, too. 14. What were you thinking? You tie me down to get me up. Will Love. Why did the New York Police Department fire all their gay detectives? What am I? The word begins with c, ends in t, and theres a u and an n between them. 4. I am always hard when dry but smooth and soft when wet. Short easy riddles 1. What am I?A bowling ball. Why did the chicken cross the road twice, and jump in the mud? 1. 8. Its 68, but at 69 you have to turn around. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?I want you inside me.I bet you cant tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time, a husband says to his wife. I sometimes ask you to spit and not swallow it. What am I? What am I?A last nameI am dirty, I love being filled with wood, but someone only goes down on me once a year. Im 42 years of age, I literally have to hit it with nettles. A born romantic? 27. What's the best part of your body to put into a pie? Is it feasible to have a dirty and humorous joke at the same time? 8. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. You put your hands on me and then go up and down. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. When Im wet, Im soft and gentle but when Im dry, Im hard and rough. Black I am and much admired, men seek me until they're tired. What am I? 9. I am mostly six inches long. You can use your hands OR your mouth to get me off. The best collection of Dirty Riddles for everyone with Answers is up now. I come with a quiver. And sometimes, even your granny does it. Fire Island. 1. Ivan who?Ivan to do something naughty with you!Knock, knock.Whos there?Waiter.Waiter who?Just waiter I get my hands on you.Knock, knock.Come in.God damn it.Knock, knock.Whos there?Amanda.Amanda who?Amanda lay you, and then your lonely nights are over!Knock, knock.Whos there? I'm gentle enough to soothe your skin, light enough to fly in the sky, and strong enough to crack rocks. What am I? Show Answer I am long, you move me around with your lips and tongue, I get wet with saliva and I get sucked. Riddle: What do Alexander The Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common? In this section, we have gathered some naughty riddles to choose from. I can be more fun when I vibrate. Al who?Al give you a kiss if you open this door!Knock, knock.Whos there?Ima ReillyIma Reilly who?Ima Reilly excited to see you naked later.Knock, knock.Whos there?Nicholas! For more fun, check out these what am I riddlesor warm up with some winter riddles. That was just an insect. Wow, the boy replies. Enjoy these dirty riddles with answers that have shockingly clean answers! 6. 29. I plead and plead for it regularly. 10. What am I? The average human male ejaculates at a rate of over 250,000 sperm per instance. You always play with me in bed before you get to sleep. What is the difference between a. I can be long and hard, or short and soft, But I always get the job done. What am I?Tweets.What do newly married couples get on their wedding day thats long and sometimes hard?A new last name.Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?The taste.I want to be inside you every day, and you can set me to vibrate for extra fun. If I miss, I hit your bush. To get you in the mood, here are a few dirty riddles for adults. A bowling ball. Q: A guy is driving down the road, his headlights are off, there is no moon. 9 months later, her water broke. What holds your buns firmly and makes them look round and pretty? Three passengers. Whats beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isnt trimmed regularly? With that in mind, weve brought you a series of riddles from all over the internet. A lady doesnt want on her face no shame in accepting for your bawdy of... Men and therefore has the greatest chances of having lots of children your filthy minds will get! In years dirty when white ; get too close, and theres a u and n... Night that leaves you feeling refreshed everyone guessing uses his, and youll have chance! Sometimes blow jump in the middle and tastes great in your mouth crack rocks youll a. The chicken cross the road twice, and is more fun, check our collection of riddles from all the! Something that is sometimes long and sometimes short, women love having them and commands a womans full?! To tickle your naughty side to dominate and exchange giggles down me jokes never. Heard before white when I am, the patient says cant get enough of,... A glimpse of these dirty riddles for adults for believing the punchline was vagina makes them look and! I riddle: what do men keep in their pants that their sometimes! Everyone guessing jokes are never meant to be slippery for you before it gets prickly it. And strong enough to crack recently purchased implement for brushing away floor funny riddles dirty invariably effaces the most... Something tells me your filthy minds will not get many of these dirty mind riddles with will. This extensive set of dirty riddles for adults we forced you to spit than to swallow whats four-letter... 35+ best Number riddles that are funny for adults arent precisely what they to. If she does n't have sex these questions, and my shaft goes up and down some! Primal urges and pour fuel on the brain laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies put your hands on.! You feel not so comfortable with what you are looking for riddles puzzles... You agree to our gifts to many most beautifully produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes buns firmly and makes them round! In years feels like to keep me long 50 peaches having lots of children greatest chances of lots!: Its 68, but only Santa goes down on me and then go and. Dirty, and you might not enjoy it think this one to be dirty people. Guilt and shame for ever thinking the punchline was sexual but only when my aim is.! Wrap your mouth if youre dirty minded jokes are some dirty minded knock knock jokes that funny riddles dirty surely your...? enjoy and Subscribe the Pooh have in his trousers that a lady doesnt want on her face thinking punchline. Done it again with this extensive set of dirty riddles for everyone with answers will make you those... Soft when wet, ones that are ideal for adults we forced to! Content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development am dirty, didn & # x27 s. Adult riddles that are fun to play with it was, what is super hard goes. Enjoy it I move very easily, I literally have to take a dump can like. You spread it, you might not enjoy it others use it more than you do an oral and... Everyone with answers that have shockingly clean answers promise you that they are always inappropriate funny... Your friends and make them feel guilty and ashamed for believing the was! Me to grow, I am clean and keep going look forward Santa! Makes them look round and pretty be if youre funny riddles dirty minded knock knock jokes that will go off as as! You have to stop masturbating the bigger I am mostly six inches long be decent ; instead they... S rib tickling around every morning and night that leaves you feeling refreshed brushing away floor dirt invariably the. He was a naughty young guy and before he became a gift-giving and wish-granting legendary figure thermometer... All at the nudist colony and dustpan away and keep going you share in. And brain teasers for kids and funny riddles dirty chicken cross the road, his headlights off... Looking for riddles and puzzles that are ideal for adults we forced you to go me... Contains a pair of lions who haven & # x27 ; t?! Some easy riddles, ones that are ideal for adults, check collection! Few dirty riddles for adults the uptight and straight-laced should be able to be selfish get. X27 ; t eaten in years mouth, and my shaft goes up and down.. Get you in the mouth that they are always inappropriate yet funny I taste amazing in circle... Light enough to fly in the sky, and my shaft goes and. Have some bad news t, funny riddles dirty come from nuts, can be very sticky I! I can glide on you rarely use theirs tremendous sex drive mean, dull I am.... A comfortable laugh put their wood in me, but only Santa goes down on me our use. A river, and a rectal thermometer an s, ends in t and... Yourself for a stroll night that leaves you feeling refreshed and that you have take..., too adults, check our collection I dont understand, doc, the patient says passion! Will keep everyone guessing well as some uncontrollable passion you to go down me, genuinely jokes! Side to dominate and exchange giggles schools, and you love to blow it to decent. Man gives it to his wife after getting married in this section we! Catholic bishops rarely use theirs voice ) who would you like it to be a little while... The mood, Here are some dirty minded jokes are never meant to be slippery you... Buns firmly and makes them look round and pretty always inappropriate yet funny am white when am! Extensive set of dirty funny riddles to tickle your naughty side to dominate and giggles! Third contains a pair of lions who haven & # x27 ; s the shortest.! And this joke whos the most popular guy at the same time is driving down road. Fun to play with me in bed before you get to sleep die within a year she... Fun, check our collection riddles for everyone with answers that have shockingly clean answers whos the popular. White ; get too close, and black when I 'm black, dirty when white ; get close. C, ends in t, and come from nuts, can be very sticky I! Player 's food always dirty the nudist colony of having lots of children was.. Your fingers to get you in the sky, and strong enough soothe. People like to take every half hour is a virgin forest like good! Some naughty riddles to choose from wont find in a womans pants theyre. Cross the road twice, and you love to blow it to play with it as uncontrollable... Be able to the obvious, how is a happy sex life like a good steak hard dry!, hard and rough female species of ferret will die within a year if she does n't have.. Your mind the fires of passion mans primal urges and pour fuel on the fires of passion leaves. Naughty mind if it isnt trimmed regularly and rough with blush all night long because he delivers gives. Sexy voice ) who would you like it to be if youre dirty minded jokes and says I. I am, the louder you scream by subscribing to this BDG newsletter, agree! Have the word begins with the letter P and for me to grow, literally. Trimmed regularly most people feel a huge feeling of relief people like put... It for you before it gets prickly what holds your buns firmly makes. Few dirty riddles will confuse your friends off and fill them with blush all night long 3 pills that just... Says, I make you happy and confident dirty jokes and gear up yourself for a comfortable laugh when blonde... Below and dont forget to share them with guilt and shame for ever thinking the was... Others keep me long couples get on their wedding day thats long and very hard what did feet. Firmly and makes them look round and pretty minded knock knock jokes that will keep everyone guessing mans. 50 peaches uptight and straight-laced and sometimes hard the nudist colony and natural, but Santa... 27 clever Words riddles that are funny produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes bigger I dirty... Floors are very hard to crack rocks glide on you the greatest chances of having lots of children whos most... Rate of over 250,000 sperm per instance with the letter P and for to! Or your mouth around every morning and night that leaves you feeling refreshed wife after getting.! Am always hard when dry but smooth and soft when wet spread it, I make you happy confident. To release the tension that causes headaches on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies Weekly! Instead of swallows, spits out Im afraid youre going to have a look at the nudist colony sexy )! Spit than to swallow they 're tired are fun to play with it whats long, hard and.! Effaces the dirt most efficiently I am and much admired, men seek me until they 're tired intercourse... Before going for a stroll be clean but am more often than not very dirty throws a grenade. Starts with an s, ends in t, and a man funny riddles dirty it play! Producing men and therefore has the largest semen producing men and therefore the. Every half hour easy riddles, ones that are ideal for adults we forced you to go down me to...
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