I hope you and your partners will be open to adjusting your own schedules to help me accommodate these new circumstances. The different types of polyamory are defined by their structure. Any group, relationship, activity, etc. Psychology Today, in 2014, estimated that at least 9.8 million Americans are actively practicing some type of non-monogamy. In fact, this is what people in hierarchical poly relationships often fall back to when confronted in stark terms with the reality of what they’re doing: they backpedal until they have arrived a a definition that is not hierarchy at all. My values, which include valuing commitments, and much less virtuously, valuing simplicity in my life arrangements over the wants of others, all play a part in my decision to refuse the issue, but ultimately, my X is self-determination. Thanks again for a thought-provoker that could open some new discussions in poly theory. It easily leads to behaviors that, while technically ethical, often are emotionally cruel. So with the phrase “poly hierarchy,” I am referring to a specific structure concerning three or more adults in a romantic network. After a few days, he said he felt better about it and would even talk about the other relationship candidly with me. Which means you’d probably find it relatively easy to date conventionally single people — many of whom are shopping for a monogamous long-term relationship, and thus would probably prefer to avoid dating people who are obviously partnered up and thus not available for an exclusive relationship. People who practice non-hierarchical poly can still live together or spend more time with some partners than with others (especially in the case of long-distance relationships), but no one gets … But basically it comes down to everyone involved in a relationship having a full and equal voice in how that relationship is conducted. I have lots to say about hierarchical poly relationships, but first I want to clear up one thing: just what exactly I’m talking about when I talk about a poly hierarchy. To me, there appears to be a flaw in the underlying thinking associated with this question. It’s very interesting that I’ve read this today after my most consistent sexual partner de-partnered me for an exclusive relationship. I asked him how that could be since he never once showed any sort of jealousy for my husband. It’s not that hard to behave ethically if everyone involved is self-aware, skilled at communicating, and is honest and transparent about their feelings, values, and processes. I personally do not feel comfortable attempting to take a stance on hierarchical polyamory – but here is a brief overview for the sake of context. So, the quandary: A poly hierarchy is also not a set of boundaries. Such as: “Because I value informed consent and respect everyone’s autonomy, if someone who seems incompatible with polyamory wants to date me anyway, and I’m attracted to them as well, then we should feel free to explore that connection — even if it that incompatibility might later cause stress or end the relationship, perhaps on very bad terms.”. But there’s also a bit of a problem. Because I value my autonomy and freedom to connect intimately with others as I choose (plus other values), should I date someone who will expect or require monogamy — especially if they’re clear they don’t want polyamory, and/or even if they’re super hot and totally into me too? Can Polygamy Be Ethical? And they can all be used to rationalize destructive behavior. their partner’s other partners). Bonus points if you apply my XYZ structure to how you define your own ethics in real-world situations. A specific subset of polyamory, those in hierarchical poly actually have a ranking system among their relationships. I need you to help me figure out a solution to make sure they get dressed and ready and off to daycare in the morning. And no, not all human beings are inherently of equal value TO ME. The primary/secondary framing encourages an unethical approach to how we set our priorities. It is a relative (what is right and wrong changes based on the situation) and teleological (what is right or He might enjoy having his brain picked. I also thought about “letting her go” to value my statements from the beginning, but as I figured, it was already to late, some of our coworkers already know and many others seem to sense something. I’m going to propose a definition here, which I will use and refer back to for subsequent posts. While hierarchical polyamory certainly has its share of unique concerns, I fail to see how it is significantly more prone to ethical quagmires than other models. Can somebody change my view, please? ... With ethical non-monogamy, things can … Equality is not the same thing as equity, and one can exist without the other. It’s still about trying for their best happiness, and I look out for my own. More on this–I expect, much more–later. (And what makes your choices hard?) For instance, if you prefer to practice solo polyamory (and therefore do not engage in relationships that are life-entwined or heading toward that relationship escalator goal), you’d probably look “single” to the dominant monogamy-presuming culture. Version of the argument, the hierarchy-means-everyone ’ s-a-special-snowflake argument is the tower beings are inherently of equal value me...: choosing Doritos, regardless of flavor, is another matter, of course..... So soon when I have time, I ’ m serious that I met... 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